Soothe Her to Sleep

Breastfeeding moms always have one secret weapon to help soothe their babies to sleep:  their breasts.  But it can still be difficult getting a baby to drift off into dreamland, especially for naps or in the middle of the night when they've awaken.  My daughter's habit lately has been waking in the middle of the night and taking about an hour or so to fall back asleep (in bed with us even).  I'm usually too tired to remember my usually tricks.  I just whip out the boobs or a binky, switch her from one side to the other, pat her back, etc.  The best thing I can do to help her fall asleep when she's having a hard time is to sing to her. 

It rarely fails to calm her body and mind and give her that extra bit of comfort she needs.  I've found that "You Are My Sunshine" and "Hush, Little Baby" (mockingbird song) work the best, along with three songs that I have created.  The three that I have created ALWAYS help soothe her.  As soon as I start singing them, I can feel her body relax.  It's like she knows that those are her songs, created with love by me just for her.  One that I have deemed "Angel Baby" used to be the only one that would work like a charm, but now the other two seem to work better.  I think because they have a slower melody.

Creating songs is a fun way to soothe your baby.  I came up with mine while singing my daughter to sleep every night.  Babies don't care if you have a terrible singing voice as long as you use soothing tones and lots of love. Mine personally is terrible, but my daughter still loves it when I sing to her.

Try singing in a whisper voice.  It's quiet, so it doesn't stimulate as much as a louder voice could.  Also, I've found when trying to sing in a regular voice, but quietly, my voice would crack at certain words (tones).  I also found that just whispering comforting phrases in her ear can also be soothing, like "mama dada baby" or "mama dada love baby".  I like to think that it sets her up to drift into sleep thinking good thoughts and thus having good dreams  : )

If you don't sing to your little one, you should try it.  You might be surprised at the power it holds.  Just another way to show your little one how much you care.

Baby's First Christmas

Last night, my daughter husband and I went over to my in-laws for dinner and presents.  She ate a lot (for her) of little pieces of chicken and beef from the mexican platter that has become a Christmas Eve tradition.  It took her a little bit to warm up, but she had woken up from her nap to be thrown into clothes, shoved  in a carseat, and tossed into another environment (or at least that's how I'd imagine it felt).  The ripping of wrapping paper didn't bother her a bit and she babbled and played and walked around having a grand ol' time.

This morning, she woke up with mom and dad and opened her gift from us.  She actually opened it herself.  She ripped the paper off in pieces.  Then I thought she'd play with the wrapping paper, but instead she set it aside and starting pulling at the top of the box.  I helped her open the box and she pulled the top tissue paper out, then the stuffed animal (barely glancing at it), then the bottom tissue paper skipping right over the book (which she usually loves), picked the box up and discarded it, then returned to play  :) 

We then preceded to wake up the rest of the house for present time.  Before we all were done (there were 8 of us this Christmas) she needed to take a nap.  Afterward, baby girl and I finished with our presents (I had napped with her) and got ready for the day.  First stop was at my husband's aunt's house for Christmas dinner with his whole side of the family, then back home for another nap.  After her second nap, we finished my moms Christmas dinner (at home), then off to my dad's for our third Christmas dinner of the night ( technically only two because we skipped the food at the first dinner with the exception of some yummy turkey).  After my dad's it was home to bed! 

My daughter did so amazing throughout it all!  It has been a very busy weekend.  She has gone to bed over an hour later than usual for the last three nights (tonight included) and has been amidst a lot of commotion and people she isn't used to, but she wasn't fussy very much at all.  It was fantastic!  Oh poo, and it just now dawned on me that I forgot to make the clay handprint ornament today.  I wanted it to be done on Christmas day, but oh well.  This will be me trying to go with the flow and forgetting that her handprint was actually from the day after Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Christmas Time

Our christmas tree has slowly changed its appearance.  It now has only the top 2/3 decorated, with the exception of the occasional handmade baby-proof cloth ornament that my daughter has not yet pulled down.  Our tree this year is a fake tree with lights already attached in the branches.  This is great for two reasons 1) no string of lights for her to pull down, but the tree still at least is lit all over even though it isn't decorated all over.  2)  No loose pine needles to have to worry about my daughter snatching up and shoving in her mouth.  I do miss the smell of the traditional real christmas tree, but it is very much worth the lessened hassles.

I'm interested to see how she does Christmas morning with the opening of presents.  Not that long ago she was terrified at the sound of the wrapping paper ripping when I was opening birthday presents.  She shows interest in the wrapped gifts under the tree and she has since begun walking, making her braver, but will she still be frightened at the ripping sound?  We shall see!

Sleep....At Last

My daughter finally slept through the ENTIRE night.  About 7pm to 7am, a full twelve hours maybe plus some change.  She has pretty much slept through the night the last four nights.

Friday the 9th was the first night. Then Saturday night she slept until 5:50am and came into bed with us for the last hour.  Sunday night she slept through the entire night again.  Monday night she slept until 5:40am, came into bed with us, and tried to go back to sleep but never did.  She woke up at about 11pm but just cried a tiny bit and put herself back to sleep.  I'm hoping she keeps this pattern for awhile because it feels so good to finally get sleep in more than one or two hour time chunks.  I'm still tired, obviously, but much more rested than before.

It is a great feeling being able to be so proud of her for taking a new step, and a big one at that.  I think she sleeps better on her own as well because she has had more energy in the morning.  She definitely naps better with me than on her own in her crib, but at night she sleeps better in her crib.  A well-rested mom and baby is a very good thing :)

Create a Sanctuary

Everyone knows the basics for a nursery room-- crib, changing table, dresser, rocking chair, and all the essentials to supply those big items.  But what about special touches?  A nursery should be a happy place for baby and mom.  Create a sanctuary, oasis, special place, or whatever you'd like to call it for you and your little one.

Make the crib inviting.  First and foremost, invest in a good mattress (ie: organic.  I'm not going to get into all the benefits of organic mattresses because that would need to be a whole other blog post, but trust me, go ORGANIC.  We purchased a Naturepedic mattress for our daughter and I highly recommend it, but see what will work with your budget).  Put a couple "friends", like favorite stuffed animals, in the crib and a spare binky. I've found pacifiers can easily fall out of the crib, even with a bumper, so having a spare helps if baby wants to soothe herself back to sleep in the middle of the night.  For awhile, I also had a soft folded blanket (baby size) in there too so that she had something comforting to roll over and put her arm on since she's so used to having me next to her.  Make sure the sheets are soft and that you cant feel the coolness of the surely waterproof crib mattress through them.

Room temperature--too warm will make the room stuffy, but too cold and the baby will wake up sooner and have a harder time going back to sleep because she'll be uncomfortable.  I've found using a small cool-touch (VERY important, don't want baby to be able to burn herself) radiator style stand up heater in the nursery room works wonderfully.

No clocks allowed.  Not having a clock in my daughter's nursery is wonderful.  I can simply enjoy the time spent in there with her, without feeling like I'm on a schedule.  When I relax her for bedtime at night, I love not having a clock staring at me reminding me that I need to make dinner or my favorite TV show will be starting soon or it's taking longer than usual to get her to bed.  It will take as long as it takes and I'll enjoy having that alone time with my baby.  No clock is probably the most important part to making the nursery an oasis for the mom.  It helps keep the nursery a stress-free place.  If you went to Hawaii on vacay, would you bring a clock out on the beach with you?  No.  You'd want to just enjoy the time spent there.  Same should apply for a nursery.

Decorate the room much differently than the rest of the house.  You would think that that would be obvious because it's a baby's room and most people would want baby decor, but I thought it should be reiterated.  If the nursery fits in well with the rest of the house, then it won't be much of an escape to be in there.  I found just painting the walls and having a cute bumper and skirt for the crib did the trick.

Stock the room with a few favorite toys.  My daughter loves crawling into her bedroom from the rest of the house to play with the toys we've put in there.  Don't do any ones that make noise and music because you'll be sorry when you bump into one while trying to get your baby to sleep.

Keep a good supply of books next to the rocker.  My daughter loves being read to and it's a great way to relax her before a nap or bedtime.  Plus, babies should be read to often.  I keep only the books with cardboard pages in there because my daughter likes to turn the pages and touch the books.  I don't want her getting any papercuts from the regular books.

Enjoy!

My daughter's nursery (taken while we were in the process of putting stuff away)

My Smart Baby

I am so proud of my daughter  :)   she is so smart!  Last night, she started rolling her hands when we would do "roll it" in pat-a-cake.  She would clap her hands to the rest of it and roll her hands (baby style) when we came to "roll it".  It is SO adorable!  Her little face would just light up as she looked up at us while doing it.  She knew we proud of her as we went "Yaaaay baby!"  Babies at this age crave the approval of their moms, and dads too I'm sure. 

Today, I was reading her "Good Morning, Good Night...A Touch and Feel Bedtime Book" which has pages that flip open to reveal a new scene and fuzzy cutouts for the child to feel.  The way it flips open is in the opposite directions of how you turn a page.  She would try to turn the page like usual with most books before I could flip open the special page.  Today, though, she would grab the page and flip it open, feel the fuzzy cutout, help me close the special page, and then flip the page over like usual.

She is constantly learning new things, it's amazing!  Right now we're trying to teach her to give kisses, which she does occasionally but with her mouth wide open lol.  Oh yeah, and this morning she discovered how to open the sliding door in the hallway.  She crawled over to it, got upset that it was closed, and before I knew it she had slid it open   :)   Love you honey!

Teething

My daughter has been teething on and off again since she was two months old.  She was drooling all the time, which I've now found out that at about 2 months is when babies' salivary glands develop (according to my daughter's pediatrician) so that may have been it instead.  But I still think it was teething because she was fussy and chewing on things, more than she usual.  Who knows really though because its hard to look back 7 months ago and remember all the deciphering details of exactly how it happened.  The reason I mention this is now I think she is truly teething.  The last two weeks she has been irritable and drooling excessively, where there was quite a period of time where she didn't even need bibs because she wasn hardly drooling.  I think it depends on when she was teething.  Teeth can move up and down in the gums before actually surfacing (which you may have heard as "cutting teeth", when the teeth emerge breaking through the gums).  She still doesn't have any teeth, yet, so either she will be cutting teeth soon or the teeth are just closer to the surface irritating her and will be moving back down again. 

Part of when babies develop teeth is genetics and my husband and I and our siblings all developed teeth later on.  My mother said she thought about 10-12 months old and my mother in law thought about the same.  I'm not anxious though for two reasons: 1) the later baby teeth develop the better for their adult teeth (more stable) and 2) I'm still breastfeeding as her main source of food.  You can still breastfeed after your baby gets teeth, and I plan on it, but the teaching process of no biting can be a bit painful.

Here are some products that I have found helpful:
-Hyland's homeopathic teething gel-- can be given every 15 minutes as needed, uses herbs instead of drugs to calm and soothe, no minimum age requirement (for ones like Oragel the baby has to be at least 4 months old, plus its not recommended by Dr.s).   Used to work beautifully for my daughter when she was younger, but lately she's not a fan of having a finger crammed in her mouth to rub her gums.

-Sofie the Giraffe-- AMAZING!  My sister in law bought this for my daughter and she instantly loved it!  Sofie is made out of all natural rubber and is the perfect size for little hands (pretty much exactly what the manufacturer says but it's the best way to describe Sofie because it's so true!).  My daughter loves chewing on Sofie's legs and head.  Sofie has two squeakers, one in the head and one in the body, and the natural rubber gives her a great texture.  Also, the paint or dye or whatever that is used for Sofie's design is totally food grade.

-RaZbaby RaZ-Berry silicone teether-- a cute lil raspberry teether that is just like a binky except the nipple part is a bit bigger and bumpy like a berry.  Great for baby to chew on!  My daughter loves it!

Find What Works

Babies change so quickly and what works to soothe or entertain them one time may not work the next time.  I've been told many times by experienced mothers (ie: grandmothers) that just when you get a system down the baby changes on you and you have to get a new system.  They worded it better, but you get the drift.  I haven't necessarily found that to be true, but there is some truth to it.  My daughter tends to stick to a routine for a good amount of time before I need to find something else that works, usually.

As my daughter has gotten older and more active, she really does not like being laid on her back to change her diaper.  She will cry, squirm, kick, and buck.  Actually, she's quite the little buck-er when she doesn't like something, whether it be a diaper change or resisting sleep or whatever it may be.  Usually, we will grab whatever toy or trinket is nearby to give to her hurriedly to entertain her while we change her diaper.  For the last week or two, there has been this one specific bath toy, a green sea horse thing, that has worked beautifully.  Well, that's starting to not quite do the trick.  So I started squeaking it at her-- so that it puffs air out at her face making her laugh-- before giving it to her.  That works okay, but! I have found something again that works.

For whatever reason, singing the "Wheels on the Bus" song will stop her mid-cry and get her smiling.  But!  Only when I sing the first verse where the wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town.  If I try any of the other verses involving babies, kids, or whoever else is on the bus, then she starts crying again.  She only wants to hear me sing about the wheels on the bus going round and round.  And no other nursery rhyme can do the trick, just "Wheels on the Bus".  So for now, I've found what works and I'm sticking to it.

When it comes to naptime and bedtime, I have also found something new that seems to work beautifully.  I wrap the arm that is under her head around her, snugging her in close to my chest, and lay my other arm across her body.  Basically, wrapping her up in my arms.  The key to this, though, is laying my head on top of hers.  It mimicks how we sleep at night when she sleeps in bed with us.  I think that is why it works so well, it's comforting to her.  It hurts my neck, laying my head pretty much flat against my shoulder making the muscle on one side of my neck pull and stretch to its limit, but its worth it.  Totally worth it  :)

So to all you mommas out there (or papas!), find what works and stick with it 'til it doesn't.  As parents, we're constantly evolving to keep up with our little ones.  They keep our minds sharp and our hands and feet quick   :)

Baby's First Steps

So proud of my baby girl today!  This morning she took her first steps!  Three to be exact.  I set her down on her feet on the kitchen floor and let go how I do when I'm helping her balance and learn to stand on her own.  She stepped out with her left foot, to balance I thought, then her right foot, then her left foot, and then needed to grab hold of my arm to catch herself.  The whole time I had my arms under hers waiting to catch her and saying "Oh my God" over and over.  It was amazing!  And so in her fashion.  Whenever she decides to do something, she just does it.  She didn't take her first step--she took her first THREE steps.  Whenever she has done a first--first time rolling over, first time crawling, etc-- she doesn't do it in stages.  She simply does it straight out.  It totally took me by surprise.  I was just expecting to help her stand on her own.  Crazy :)   I have been saying for awhile that I thought she'd start walking between 9 and 10 months and sure enough she is 9 months and 6 days old today!  Granted, she's not walking yet, but first steps are a big step toward that (pun intended). 

Tonight, after my husband was home from work, I was working with her some more on walking.  For the last few weeks, my daughter has been acting like she's going to take off running when we have her walk while holding our hands.  Well, tonight she did!  My cousin had to leap off the sofa to get in front of my daughter in case she fell.  I was behind my baby, but she was going so fast that I could barely keep up with her in the crouched position I had to be in to be at her level.  This time I was ready for her to take some steps like before, but not for her to take off as fast as she did!  She must have taken like 10 steps, give or take a couple.  It all happened way too fast for me to count them, but she covered a good distance on the floor.  Especially if you consider that she only just took her first steps earlier today.  It was like if she lost her momentum she would lose her balance too.  I swear, it was like the baby version of running.  SO wish I would have had my husband filming it just in case.  If we had, then we'd have some pretty amazing footage right now  :)    Good job, baby girl!  Momma and dadda are so proud of you  :)

Screw the Time Change

Fall Backward, Spring Forward. Usually people, myself included, love setting the clocks back an hour in the fall because then it gives you an extra hour. Well, I had NO idea that the time change would screw with my baby's sleep schedule so much. Granted it hasn't even been one week, but still. It seemed fine at first, but the last two mornings she's been awake at 5 o'clock in the morning. Rise and shine, momma!

She has been coming into bed with us at around 11pm when she wakes up wanting momma, sometimes midnight, so she's in bed with us when she wakes up in the morning. My husband could sleep through just about anything, so he doesn't wake up until I'm like okay it's your turn to enjoy being awake when it's still dark out. So tonight, I'm going to try to remember to just nurse her in her room, rock her back to sleep, and put her back in her crib. I am always SO tired when she wakes up in the middle of the night that the sound of her crying sends me running into her room half asleep to rescue her and bring her in bed with us. It usually isn't until I already have the door to her nursery open that I think, "Oh yeah, I should've let her cry a little bit. Maybe she would've put herself back to sleep." So I'm going to try to get her to sleep and put her back in her crib, but I'm sure if that even if that does work she will still wake up again and then I will probably concede. However, I have a back-up plan.

If she does come into bed with us in the middle of the night (and by if I mean when), then if she wakes up a normal time great! If she wakes up at 5 in the morning again though, I will just have to put her back in her crib and let her cry it out. I hate hate HATE letting her cry. It stresses me out and makes me feel so bad for her, but I need my sleep. I already get practically zero sleep, so I am not willing to give up that extra hour in the morning and let her get in the habit of waking up so early.

Since the time change, she has been going to bed later, waking up earlier, and her naps are all over the board. Her third naps were going away, but now she takes that third nap which screws up her bedtime. She isn't tired enough for bed, so even when I get her relaxed before putting her in her crib she ends up playing with her teddy bear for a long while before going to sleep. Thus, I'm going to try to not put her down for a third nap and get her to bed extra early at 6-something instead of 7ish. That is the direction her bedtime/nap routine was taking before the time change screwed everything up. Wish me luck!

My beautiful baby and I getting ready for a cold day out.

Enjoy the Moments

My husband said something to me months ago that has really stuck with me. In fact, I think of it quite often. He told me, "Sometimes, you need to just enjoy the moment for yourself," ...or something to that extent. I don't remember what exactly it was prefaced by, but that is the one bit that really branded itself in my memory. I had been telling him about something adorable that our daughter had done that I so wished I could have captured on film. There are so many moments like that! Actually, I think it's one of those right-of-passage parts of parenthood to be following your child around with a camera, hoping that you can catch every special moment with a picture or video. I was distressed about not being able to catch all the moments, like when she's sleeping and I know the flash of a camera would wake her up or running to grab the camera just to get back a moment too late. My husband being the voice of reason had told me to stop stressing and simply enjoy the moment. Now, whenever I think "Oooh that would be such a good picture!", but know it's not possible for whatever reason, I think of my hubby's words and stop...and savor the moment :) I might not be able to share that moment, but at least I have it for myself. Those are the moments, and memories, that years from now I will still cherish.

A Difficult Transition Week

My daughter is at the age where her last nap of the day is starting to go away. The sleep book I had read had warned me of this, but there still really isn't a way out of the awful transition period. This week, or at least the last few days (not sure how long it's actually been, just know how long it feels like it's been--forever), she gets tired around her usual 3-4 o'clock time in the afternoon, but will NOT go down for a nap despite many MANY attempts by me. I can rock her, walk her, sing to her, read to her, nurse her, give her a binky--all the usuals--and it doesn't do any good. The rest of the night until her bedtime at about 7pm is spent with a very fussy, tired, and might I say stubborn baby. I know she still NEEDS that last nap, but I just can't get her to actually go to sleep. She fights it so hard! She wants to stay up so she doesn't miss out on anything, but she's so tired that she isn't content with any of our usual playtime activities. She will, however, go to sleep if we go for a drive anytime after she's gotten overtired. I discovered this on a late afternoon trip to Safeway. I've always known that she is more apt to fall asleep in the car when she's tired, but the idea of going through the theatrics of getting us both out the door and buckled in the car just to put her to sleep seems a bit much. I have always been successful using other easier and more natural methods--until now. So do I let her afternoon naps go away even though she still acts like she needs them? Or do I saddle up everyday for a car ride to lull her to sleep? For now, I'm going to go with the first. I will still try to get her to sleep at that time. I might have to start doing activities before her nap that will stimulate her more so that maybe she's more ready for a nap later in the day, like taking her for a walk around the neighborhood or finding new activities indoors (it's quite chilly out!). So this week I have had more difficult afternoons while getting practically no sleep at night while feeling very run down. Things seem to happen in threes, but this set of three has been repeating itself every day and night this week. Thank goodness for the weekend! I get the chance to catch up on some MUCH needed rest while hubby takes care of the baby :)

My Favorite Time

I love putting my baby to bed at night. The time I spend with her in her nursery is my favorite time of night. I nurse her on both sides, give her a binky, and burp her all while rocking in the chair. I keep cuddling her to me while rocking, with the little receiving blanket flipped over her eyes like she likes. The music and dim lighting are very relaxing. The rocking motion and cuddling with my baby very comforting. All in all it is my favorite time of night. My daughter relaxes and enjoys the alone time with momma getting her ready for bedtime. I always stand up and walk and rock her just before laying her down in her crib. While rocking my baby, I look at her little face and think to myself how lucky I am to have such a precious little girl, how big she's grown, and how much I love her. No matter what's going on in life, I always have that time to cherish with my daughter. In those moments, life couldn't get any better.

Confused and Pondering Life

Religion and spirituality. My husband and I were discussing our faith earlier, more like questioning it. We were both raised in Christian households and have grown up believing in the Christian beliefs and that there is a God. Having a child brings to question, how do we want our daughter to be raised? My husband claimed that he won't be attending church with us because he doesn't like it and is unsure of it. That is about how it was with my childhood--mom and children went to church, dad attended occasionally. My original response was of course you're coming! When he asked why, I didn't really have an answer. During my adulthood, I have always said that I believe in God and the Christian ways, but do not feel that you need to go to church to believe. Church is a place for people to get together and worship, but some people may like to worship on their own. There are so many aspects about religion that confuse me. My husband and I agree that we are both definitely spiritual, but are we still religious? Which made me wonder, if I hadn't been taught to fear God would I still believe? I can hardly say out loud that life has made me question my beliefs without feeling like a terrible person. I believe that there is an afterlife and that there is meaning to life, but past that what religion do my beliefs fit into? I told my husband that maybe we should teach our daughter about many religions and let her decide for herself. Who knows if that's what we will do, but it sounds like a good plan at the moment. On the other hand, I really want to instill in her the Christian beliefs and traditions that I grew up with. But why? Is it only because of family tradition and good childhood memories? I think I may need to go on a path of discovery to see what I still believe and where my husband and I fit religiously. I took a what belief are you quiz on beliefnet (for fun and curiousity) and it said that I am a spiritual straddler, with one foot in traditional religious beliefs (Christian for me) and one foot in free form spiritual beliefs. Raising a child involves many important decisions, but I feel which faith to raise them in is quite possibly the most important of all. Am I only Christian because I was raised to be? Is that what I want for our daughter? I know I want her to believe in a higher power, but does it matter what kind?

Also, why do such terrible things happen in life? When I ask myself this, my answer doesn't even include God. I think it's because the human mind becomes so twisted due to genetics and messed up upbringings. Does that mean I believe more like scientists? No. I don't know what to believe. And why do people say God doesn't care what religion you believe as long as you believe there is a God. And does that mean that people who were not raised to believe are going to hell? That doesn't seem right. They weren't even given an opportunity. Yes, that is why people go on missions to "save" those lost souls, but what about all the people that still were never taught? Isn't there such a thing as being naive and innocent? And why do people baptise babies? For fear that if the child were to die that he/she would still go to heaven? That doesn't seem right either. Again, babies and young children do not have the ability to believe yet. What kind of God would punish these young souls just because their parents had made the decision not to baptise?

I have so many questions to which there is no one answer. Depending on someone's religious beliefs would determine their answer. I feel I mostly still believe in the Christian way. I know I still enjoy hearing of others' belief and don't find myself questioning their proclaimed faith, but does that still mean I believe...or just that I WANT to believe? This is where I am now. Left confused and pondering the most powerful questions in life. Religion and spirituality.

Competition and Pride

The other night, my husband and I were playing Wii Golf. It was my first time, but I naturally didn't want to suck at it. I can be VERY competitive. We played the beginner 3 rounds so I could get a feel for it and it was fun! I only lost by one point, so I figured let's go again! We played the 9 hole round and I discovered that after the first 3 holes there begins to be a big difference in skill level between my husband and I. He was joking with me and trying to have fun, but I was getting really irritated that I was doing so poorly. I ended up losing by 4 points, but only because my hubby bombed it on one round. It should have been a fun game, but I was tense by the end of it. And why? Because of my competitive nature. Which is exactly why being a mom stresses me out so much at times. I cannot do anything wrong--I need to be the best at all times. Yes, I should try my very best, but being a mom is difficult and it's okay to not always have it together. I need to be able to laugh off things and just enjoy life for what it is, problems and all. This is the lesson I struggle learning pretty much everyday. I cannot always deal with life and the hardships (big or small) it may throw our way.

Let me paint a picture for you of what I mean when I say I'm trying not to stress the little things. I was trying to hang up laundry out of the dryer and my baby girl was crawling around getting into things. I had the bottom drawer in the kitchen open because I was folding some kitchen towels and that's where they go. She crawls over and starts pulling handtowels that I'd just folded out and flinging them around (she LOVES to fling blankets, towels, etc back and forth. It's SUPER cute!). Normally, I'd be like oh no! It would stress me out that now I have to refold them, which is creating even more work for me and there are other things I still need to do. Not this time :) I just smiled and let her play. So what? It's just a few towels and it won't take but a minute to put them away again. Besides, she's having so much fun playing with them, it's distracting her from getting into other things that are no-nos, and I'm enjoying watching her play. Even while I was watching her, I thought to myself that I usually would start stressing. Man do I need to chill out! I get so tired, grumpy, and stressed out that I can't relax and just enjoy life. If I had stressed out, I would've missed the moment of watching my baby having such a good time. Those moments are special and crucial to enjoying being a mom. Which brings me to my next subject: pride.

Babies learn through play, so I feel pride in my baby as I watch her play and study every little thing. When she learns something new, like saying mama and dada or knowing the word "no", I can feel my heart swell as I glow with pride. Yesterday, I found out that she knows not only how to turn the page of a book, but also what "turn the page" means. I was reading one of her favorite little books to her (the kind with the baby friendly cardboard pages) when I said "turn the page" and she reached forward with her left hand, grabbed the page, and turned it all the way over. We did this over and over. I would read the page, say "turn the page", and she would reach forward and flip it over. I had been saying things like "Do you want to turn the page, honey?" or simply "Go on, turn the page" to her for a long time and helping her turn the page, but this was the first time that I realized she knows how to do it all on her own! My favorite part about it was that she would wait patiently while I read to her and unstuck the page from the rest (cardboard pages tend to stick together) and only reach for it when I said "turn the page". I was so excited when I told my husband and he was like "Yeah, I know. She's been doing that for awhile hun." Well well then. It was my first time seeing her do it all on her own and doing it only when I told her to go ahead, so for me it was special! She had tried flipping the page over with her right hand, but had discovered that it was much easier if she grabbed it with her left hand. Sometimes, she'd grab it with her left and turn it most of the way over and finish pushing it down with her right hand. So adorable! I love my baby girl so much and love watching her learn and grow everyday :) Life is hard work, but isn't it SO worth it?

A Time to Reflect

Being a wife and mother can be overwhelming at times. I think a lot of the reason why I find myself feeling overwhelmed is because I am so tired all the time and hardly get a spare moment to myself. My daughter catnaps, averaging 45 minutes per nap and rarely are they ever over an hour long. I usually try to nap with her for her first one or two naps, but even then it just makes me want more sleep. Her short naps don't leave me with much time to recharge my batteries and after she goes to bed I still need to make dinner or lunches for the next day or finish household chores. A woman's day is never done. My point here isn't to complain, though, it's to remember how truly blessed I am. It can be hard to see the forest through the trees--really, really hard at times. It's not easy to see the big picture while feeling overwhelmed by life. And the big picture is that I am so blessed to be the mother of such an amazing baby girl. She really is God's precious gift to me :)

While rocking her in my arms earlier, I was looking down at her sleeping and remembering again how lucky I am. Not every woman gets to be a mother, and even then, not every mother has such a beautiful, smart, happy, healthy baby. She represents all that is good in my life and all that I have to live for. Yes, I know I am more than just a mother, but that is the most important aspect of my life. At this time in my life, it is more than just an aspect--it IS my life. Our children are not to be taken for granted. Our family--brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers-- are not to be taken for granted. Even when life is hard, we need to remember that our children are to be cherised for each one is a gift. And if you are as fortunate as I am, our family needs to be cherised as well. For I know that wherever life takes me, my family will always be beside me.

To my loving husband, my wonderful mother and father, and my two sisters--beautiful inside and out. I love you all, thank you for always being there for me...and us :)

And to my husband's family, thank you for helping make him the man he is today. I look forward to many years of making memories that strengthen our bonds :)

Best Bottom Creams

There are about a million different diaper rash creams on the market, and I've tried more than our fair share of them. Below are my favorites:

1. California Baby Calming- I love the entire line of California Baby Calming which have essential French lavender oil that smell great naturally without use of perfumes. The best part is that the combination of lavender and other essential oils in the diaper cream make it naturally anti-fungal and anti-bacterial, which is great for maintaining healthy bottoms. The consistency is similar to thinner paste or lotion which makes it spread easily, but will start to melt slightly if it is on your finger too long.
+contains 12% zinc oxide, free of common allergens, not tested on animals, eco-friendly (contains organic and sustainably grown ingredients), uses pure essential oils

2. Burt's Bees Baby Bee Diaper Ointment- it actually is a cream, not an ointment, and I purchased mine at my local Walmart. I was super low on my usual diaper creams, which I order online or pick up when I'm in Olympia, so I made a quick Walmart trip hoping they would have something natural. They did! It is 100% natural and has quickly become a favorite of mine. However, it is my husband's second least favorite next to the super messy Mustela. Again, consistency is why he doesn't like it, but I think it's just fine. It is SUPER thick, making it kind of hard to squeeze out, but once it's out it spreads just fine (according to me). It takes a second to become more spreadable, but the heat from our skin does the trick. It contains zinc oxide, second ingredient after sweet almond oil. It has a definite herbal smell, which can be a little strong, but I like it. It stays well on the skin rather than coming off with the pee, but don't worry, it comes off easily with a wipe.
+ no sulfates parabens phthalates or petrochemicals, does not test on animals, natural oils such as sweet almond, jojoba, lavender, calendula, sunflower, rosemary, soybean and more

3. Babyganics Hiney Helper- this is a great standard diaper cream. It is my husband's favorite because it is the least messy. It's consistency really is that of a thick cream (like a shea butter kind) and it waits until you start spreading it. It's mineral-based formula does contain zinc-oxide, but it does not specify how much (it's the second ingredient after water though). If you are looking for a good basic everyday cream, Babyganics is a safe bet. I only prefer the other two more so because they contain herbal oils.
+hypoallergenic (free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates, toxins, mineral oil, petrolatum, artificial colors, synthetic fragrances, gluten, or nuts) and eco-friendly, pediatrician and dermatologist tested

4. Mustela Stelactiv- The reason I have this on my favorites list is because it contains ingredients that fight the enzymes in urine that cause diaper rash. However, it is my husband's VERY least favorite because of the consistency. It can be pretty messy to put on. Most creams I apply with one finger, but this one I have to apply with two because it starts to melt almost instantly from the heat of your finger(s). My husband usually ends up with one hand such a disaster that he needs to wash up before being able to put the diaper on (thus, he hates it). It's not all natural like the others, but it has a special agent.
+contains 10% zinc oxide, free of fragrance colorant and paraben, dermatologist tested hypoallergenic


These are currently the only three creams I use on my daughter, varying them as need be.

UPDATE: Sleep for Baby

I will continue to update/edit this post (UPDATE: Sleep for Baby) each night, so keep checking back if you'd like to see how the sleep process is progressing.

6th night-seemed to fall asleep in under 8 minutes with a little crying, but then 5 minutes later when I checked the moniter she was awake. Quiet, but awake. She repositioned herself and was back out in a few minutes. The whole process was between 15-20 minutes so still really good :) I continue to be surprised at how well this is working.

7th night-it's officially been one week. Tonight her sleep schedule got messed up because she fell asleep in the car at 6pm and didn't wake up til 6:40ish. Usually, we start putting her to bed at 7pm. After nursing her a little, she was ready to go...play, not sleep. 8:15pm rolls around and she's still happy as a clam, talking loud and playing. I thought okay let's try to get her relaxed and sleepy, but didn't really think it'd work. She was content as I read to her in the rocker and when I brought her back to nurse her again. I walked, rocked, and bounced her until she was very drowsy. As I laid her down, she immediately flipped over onto her tummy. I thought oh no, here we go. Usually, she flips over on her tummy and starts crying as I set her down and leave the room. Not tonight. She flipped over and stayed there! I patted her back and left the room. I could see on the moniter that she sat up, repositioned herself once, and fell asleep. No crying, no fussing, just right to bed. She did wake up earlier than usual, at midnight, but momma was still very impressed...and pleased!

8th night- today she only took two naps, rather than her usual three or four. She refused to take her afternoon nap, though I tried. Put her to bed at her usual time following our usual sleepy time routine. As I set her down, she flipped over and started her initial crying while I tell her I love her as I leave the room. Within two minutes, she'd stopped crying, found a comfy position, and was asleep...or at least looked to be asleep on the moniter. I was extra tired tonight so I went to bed early which turned out to be a mistake. A little before 10pm, she woke up and noticed momma in bed and, thus, wanted to come to bed with me. If I hadn't been in there, I know she would've fallen back to sleep on her own with minimal crying. C'est la vie! I enjoy cuddling with her warm little body as I go to sleep, but I never sleep as sound as I would if I could sprawl out. So she put herself to sleep in record time tonight, but still ended up spending the whole night in bed with me and my husband.

9th night- fell asleep in about 5 minutes with some initial crying after our usual nighttime routine

10th night- cried for the first two minutes after I laid her down, but had put herself down to sleep in about 5 minutes. She squirmed for a few more minutes trying to get comfortable and then was sound asleep.

11th night- I was so enjoying cuddling with her and looking at her precious face while walking/rocking her into a sleepy lull that I didn't want to set her down...but I knew I had to. She only did her initial cry right as I was leaving, which is heartbreaking. I can practically hear her saying, "No, momma, please don't leave me!" However, by the time I had walked to the next room to grab the moniter, she was already done crying and was on her belly in sleep mode position. Within a few short minutes of trying to get comfortable, she was asleep :)

12th night- barely let out a little fussy sound as I laid her down. She rolled over on her side and ran face to face into her fave teddy bear--and that's where she stayed :) She seemed to fall asleep immediately

13th night- tonight was a bit different. She fell asleep in under 30 minutes, but she spent that time amusing herself with her teddy bears, mini dollie, and binky before falling asleep. She spent a lot of time with daddy today so I think she was more happy and energized than usual (OH how she loves her papa!)

14th night-it's been two weeks! She was so great tonight :) cried only when I set her down, was done by the time I shut the door and got the moniter. Rolled over on her tummy and stayed put. Night night time for baby!

15th night- she had a lot of excitement tonight. Her two aunties from Cali are up and there were lots of people over visiting. It took her about 30 minutes of on again off again crying to fall asleep. She was partly sitting up cuddled up on one of her teddy bears. I think she could hear some of the excitement, even with the bedroom door shut, the hallway door shut, and her sound machine playing.

16th night- she had another full day today playing with her aunties, but when it was time for bed she was ready to sleep. After getting her drowsy, she barely made a sound when I laid her down. She went right to sleep :)

17th night (I think!)- she had another easy night. For the first time, she actually stayed put when I layed her down on her back--closed her eyes and sprawled out. She had rolled to her side when I checked the moniter, but still an awesome first. She went right to sleep without a peep. I rocked and walked her for a lil longer than usual which I think helped her be more relaxed.

18th-22nd nights- so I think this is where I shall stop updating. I realized this week has been going so great that I've been forgetting to write it down :) I'm taking that as a sign to stop the updates. She no longer does the initial wail when I leave the room. This last week she just goes right to sleep without a sound. What a good girl! I'm SO proud of my baby! Anyway, I was hoping to chronicle our progress for a month, BUT I wanted it to be completely accurate and I've messed it up this last week. It would bother me too much to continue with that week as kinda a hole in the information and accuracy. P.S. I think night 17 is actually night 18 or 19...like I said this last week was so great I forgot to record it!

Sleep for Baby

My little lady playing around in her co-sleeper after a nap.

At the beginning of September, I started reading a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. It has good information, but I think it would be most helpful to parents with a newborn or at least a baby under 3 months old. Once there already is a sleeping problem/pattern established, it isn't quite as helpful. My daughter was 7 months old and still sleeping in bed with us and napping usually on me. She had become very accustomed to body warmth to sleep. The book did help me realize that we'd been letting her go to bed too late and that is my main reason to be thankful my husband bought the book for me. I stopped reading it after having enough of the guilt trips it would cause if I didn't have my daughter napping at the 'perfect' sleep time. I had started letting her cry for short intervals at naptime, letting herself get used to being on her own for sleeping, but refused to do the "extinction" method of letting her cry until she fell asleep for three nights in a row. I feel for my baby too much to be able to listen to her wail.
After going to our local doctor for a checkup, I asked about her napping problems (she likes to take several catnaps throughout the day rather than two or three long naps). The doctor suggested fixing her nighttime pattern to help correct the daytime....she suggested letting her cry it out for three nights. That, apparently, is the amount of time it takes to program/deprogram a baby's sleep habit. For whatever reason, I felt mentally strong enough that night to give it a try. I thought it's now or never, but I'll play it by ear. If she was really upset or cried for an hour (the book's cutoff time) then I'll go in and pick her up. My daughter had only ever once put herself to sleep. It took 40-45 minutes of fussing and she fell asleep sitting up slumped over her dollie. It had been 2 or 3 weeks since that one time, but it still gave me hope. So I nursed my baby and then rocked her until she was very drowsy with eyes closed, but not asleep, before giving her a kiss and laying her in her playpen (currently serving as a bigger co-sleeper next to our bed). She flung her eyes open and started wailing as I was setting her down, but I thought let's just see and shut the door softly behind me. Our handheld moniter has a video screen on it so I could watch her while listening. She fussed on and off and put herself to sleep between 10-30 minutes (I kept busy cooking dinner and forgot to check the screen at 20 minutes). I thought amazing! I was so proud of our little baby. The next 4 nights went as follows:

2nd night- cried for 45 minutes, was not a happy camper, but I had forgotten to turn on her night light. She had womb sounds playing, but I still felt like a jerk when I realized.
3rd night- fussed and cried a little on and off but was asleep in under 30 minutes. That night and from then on I made sure to have both night lights and soothing music playing.
4th night- okay, tonight would be the test. Did the three nights work? Sure enough, she put herself to sleep in under 20 minutes with NO crying. She only did the initial wail when I very first put her down in her crib. She might be drowsy and tired, but she knows what being set down means: no more momma. This night I was EXCEPTIONALLY proud of her. Under 20 minutes AND no crying!
5th night- fussed and cried just a little, but put herself to sleep in under 15 minutes! She likes to fall asleep on her tummy with her little legs tucked up under her and her head to the side where she's bunched up her blanket. Adorable! She also has been staying asleep until about 3am instead of the 11pm before we started this method.

Tonight will be the 6th night and I hope it continues to go well. I still put her to sleep myself for naps though because that's our daytime sleep routine. Being a parent is tough, but the rewards of seeing your child grow and learn are SO worth it. In fact, I found out yesterday that she knows the word 'no'. She was picking up a big stick with slivers so I told her no and she dropped it and looked at me with this expression like 'OMG what? why?'. That was also a very proud moment :)

There's nothing greater in this world than having your baby's face light up when they see you. There's nothing more precious in this world than the sight and sound of your baby smiling and laughing--happy. I would give my life if it would ensure my baby would stay happy, healthy, safe, and warm. That's what being a good momma is all about :)

Fatigue

No doubt about it, being a mom really wears you out. It is EXHAUSTING. I've fondly referred to my daughter as an emotional terrorist on days when she's been extra fussy. I put all my love and energy into taking care of her and there are some days where it seems to get me no where because she's overtired too or just plain wants momma. She knows me as well as I know her and, thus, knows how to get momma to do exactly what she wants. There have been times when I've had to go to the bathroom with her on my lap or take a shower with her in my arms because otherwise she would cry the entire time. I know it would be okay to let her cry, but hearing her sad sounds and seeing the look on her precious little face is just too heartbreaking. I would rather take on the extra work and keep my baby happy. I especially find myself worn out because I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (Epstein Barr), which basically just means that my immune system isn't what it used to be and I need more sleep than the average person to be up to par. Since our daughter sleeps with us though, I take care of her even while I sleep--waking up to switch her over to my other side (she sleeps with her head on my arm like a pillow cuddled up next to me) or if she thrashes in her sleep. Even as worn down and tired as I am, I still find myself refusing help at times because "I'm the momma."

One of the hardest things to do as a mother is relinquish control. We are the mom and we want to have our baby taken care of OUR way. That being said, I have learned that if you are fortunate enough to have a significant other that is willing to help you care for your baby, let them. I am one of the lucky ones. I'm breastfeeding so there are some things that only I can do, but my husband helps out as much as he can. My favorite way he helps is on the weekends when he's home from work. He takes care of her in the morning so I can get some much needed rest, only bringing her in to me when she's hungry. It may not be a lot of extra sleep, but it's enough to refresh my spirits.

My point is that sometimes as mothers we make more work for ourselves than necessary by wanting to keep control. The first several months after my daughter was born I ran on nothing but momentum and brain cells. It may not be like it used to where "it takes a village to raise a child", but the mother can still have help. She just needs to learn to ask for it.

Great Expectations

My first great expectation about being a mom was shattered before my daughter had even been born. From there it has been a journey discovering what kind of mom I am and how different that may be than what I'd imagined during pregnancy.

Labor. Throughout my pregnancy I had preached about how I wanted to do an all natural birth and how my high pain tolerance would carry me through. Oh how I was wrong! By the time my husband and I arrived at the hospital at 2 o'clock in the morning, I had been having contractions for 7 hours and they were now only mere minutes apart. Making the long walk through the maze that is the empty hospital at that time of night, I started confessing (and cursing!) to my husband that I think I want an epidural. He told me whatever I want to do. Smart choice on his behalf for I was in no mood to hear about what I'd been preaching. I hated admitting out loud what I'd been thinking to myself the entire long car ride up to the hospital, but I knew I had to face the music at some point because there was no way I was passing up the chance to get rid of the pain!

Sleep. Obviously, I already knew I wasn't going to be getting much sleep after the baby was born. What I didn't know was that I was going to have her sleep in bed with my husband and I, right smack dab in the middle. We had bought a co-sleeper bassinet that attaches to our bed while I was pregnant. I swore that she would be sleeping in her co-sleeper because I would be too afraid of rolling over on her in my sleep and suffocating her. I hadn't realized how incredibly strong my mother's instinct would be. I am so in tune with her that my body is aware of her even while I sleep. This, of course, is what my mother had tried to explain to me while I was pregnant. My daughter is now a few days shy of 8 months old and still spends most of the night in bed with us :) (we've just started working on this the last few days, but that's for another post.)

People. I had laughed at the idea that I might be anything other than joyous to see other people holding my baby. Turns out, I had a bad case of mama claws. My claws would come out when people other than immediate family wanted to hold her. Even then, they needed to tread softly for I was the flooded-with-hormones momma and didn't want anyone stepping on my territory. It took a few months for this to subside. I got better with time, but still showed my claws when people would do things typically deemed things done by the mom (ie: holding baby on hip while multitasking, soothing baby, rushing to baby when she wakes). I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't change how I felt. Sometimes, though, there are just things that I as the mom want to do myself.

In the end, I have to be ready to accept changes as they come. There are some things that cannot be helped and just are what they are. At those times I need to create a new path with what the circumstances have given me to work with. I am an overprotective mom that likes things done in a specific way (ie: MY way), but have also learned that I cannot control everything....though I still might try.