Religion and spirituality. My husband and I were discussing our faith earlier, more like questioning it. We were both raised in Christian households and have grown up believing in the Christian beliefs and that there is a God. Having a child brings to question, how do we want our daughter to be raised? My husband claimed that he won't be attending church with us because he doesn't like it and is unsure of it. That is about how it was with my childhood--mom and children went to church, dad attended occasionally. My original response was of course you're coming! When he asked why, I didn't really have an answer. During my adulthood, I have always said that I believe in God and the Christian ways, but do not feel that you need to go to church to believe. Church is a place for people to get together and worship, but some people may like to worship on their own. There are so many aspects about religion that confuse me. My husband and I agree that we are both definitely spiritual, but are we still religious? Which made me wonder, if I hadn't been taught to fear God would I still believe? I can hardly say out loud that life has made me question my beliefs without feeling like a terrible person. I believe that there is an afterlife and that there is meaning to life, but past that what religion do my beliefs fit into? I told my husband that maybe we should teach our daughter about many religions and let her decide for herself. Who knows if that's what we will do, but it sounds like a good plan at the moment. On the other hand, I really want to instill in her the Christian beliefs and traditions that I grew up with. But why? Is it only because of family tradition and good childhood memories? I think I may need to go on a path of discovery to see what I still believe and where my husband and I fit religiously. I took a what belief are you quiz on beliefnet (for fun and curiousity) and it said that I am a spiritual straddler, with one foot in traditional religious beliefs (Christian for me) and one foot in free form spiritual beliefs. Raising a child involves many important decisions, but I feel which faith to raise them in is quite possibly the most important of all. Am I only Christian because I was raised to be? Is that what I want for our daughter? I know I want her to believe in a higher power, but does it matter what kind?
Also, why do such terrible things happen in life? When I ask myself this, my answer doesn't even include God. I think it's because the human mind becomes so twisted due to genetics and messed up upbringings. Does that mean I believe more like scientists? No. I don't know what to believe. And why do people say God doesn't care what religion you believe as long as you believe there is a God. And does that mean that people who were not raised to believe are going to hell? That doesn't seem right. They weren't even given an opportunity. Yes, that is why people go on missions to "save" those lost souls, but what about all the people that still were never taught? Isn't there such a thing as being naive and innocent? And why do people baptise babies? For fear that if the child were to die that he/she would still go to heaven? That doesn't seem right either. Again, babies and young children do not have the ability to believe yet. What kind of God would punish these young souls just because their parents had made the decision not to baptise?
I have so many questions to which there is no one answer. Depending on someone's religious beliefs would determine their answer. I feel I mostly still believe in the Christian way. I know I still enjoy hearing of others' belief and don't find myself questioning their proclaimed faith, but does that still mean I believe...or just that I WANT to believe? This is where I am now. Left confused and pondering the most powerful questions in life. Religion and spirituality.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Competition and Pride
The other night, my husband and I were playing Wii Golf. It was my first time, but I naturally didn't want to suck at it. I can be VERY competitive. We played the beginner 3 rounds so I could get a feel for it and it was fun! I only lost by one point, so I figured let's go again! We played the 9 hole round and I discovered that after the first 3 holes there begins to be a big difference in skill level between my husband and I. He was joking with me and trying to have fun, but I was getting really irritated that I was doing so poorly. I ended up losing by 4 points, but only because my hubby bombed it on one round. It should have been a fun game, but I was tense by the end of it. And why? Because of my competitive nature. Which is exactly why being a mom stresses me out so much at times. I cannot do anything wrong--I need to be the best at all times. Yes, I should try my very best, but being a mom is difficult and it's okay to not always have it together. I need to be able to laugh off things and just enjoy life for what it is, problems and all. This is the lesson I struggle learning pretty much everyday. I cannot always deal with life and the hardships (big or small) it may throw our way.
Let me paint a picture for you of what I mean when I say I'm trying not to stress the little things. I was trying to hang up laundry out of the dryer and my baby girl was crawling around getting into things. I had the bottom drawer in the kitchen open because I was folding some kitchen towels and that's where they go. She crawls over and starts pulling handtowels that I'd just folded out and flinging them around (she LOVES to fling blankets, towels, etc back and forth. It's SUPER cute!). Normally, I'd be like oh no! It would stress me out that now I have to refold them, which is creating even more work for me and there are other things I still need to do. Not this time :) I just smiled and let her play. So what? It's just a few towels and it won't take but a minute to put them away again. Besides, she's having so much fun playing with them, it's distracting her from getting into other things that are no-nos, and I'm enjoying watching her play. Even while I was watching her, I thought to myself that I usually would start stressing. Man do I need to chill out! I get so tired, grumpy, and stressed out that I can't relax and just enjoy life. If I had stressed out, I would've missed the moment of watching my baby having such a good time. Those moments are special and crucial to enjoying being a mom. Which brings me to my next subject: pride.
Babies learn through play, so I feel pride in my baby as I watch her play and study every little thing. When she learns something new, like saying mama and dada or knowing the word "no", I can feel my heart swell as I glow with pride. Yesterday, I found out that she knows not only how to turn the page of a book, but also what "turn the page" means. I was reading one of her favorite little books to her (the kind with the baby friendly cardboard pages) when I said "turn the page" and she reached forward with her left hand, grabbed the page, and turned it all the way over. We did this over and over. I would read the page, say "turn the page", and she would reach forward and flip it over. I had been saying things like "Do you want to turn the page, honey?" or simply "Go on, turn the page" to her for a long time and helping her turn the page, but this was the first time that I realized she knows how to do it all on her own! My favorite part about it was that she would wait patiently while I read to her and unstuck the page from the rest (cardboard pages tend to stick together) and only reach for it when I said "turn the page". I was so excited when I told my husband and he was like "Yeah, I know. She's been doing that for awhile hun." Well well then. It was my first time seeing her do it all on her own and doing it only when I told her to go ahead, so for me it was special! She had tried flipping the page over with her right hand, but had discovered that it was much easier if she grabbed it with her left hand. Sometimes, she'd grab it with her left and turn it most of the way over and finish pushing it down with her right hand. So adorable! I love my baby girl so much and love watching her learn and grow everyday :) Life is hard work, but isn't it SO worth it?
Let me paint a picture for you of what I mean when I say I'm trying not to stress the little things. I was trying to hang up laundry out of the dryer and my baby girl was crawling around getting into things. I had the bottom drawer in the kitchen open because I was folding some kitchen towels and that's where they go. She crawls over and starts pulling handtowels that I'd just folded out and flinging them around (she LOVES to fling blankets, towels, etc back and forth. It's SUPER cute!). Normally, I'd be like oh no! It would stress me out that now I have to refold them, which is creating even more work for me and there are other things I still need to do. Not this time :) I just smiled and let her play. So what? It's just a few towels and it won't take but a minute to put them away again. Besides, she's having so much fun playing with them, it's distracting her from getting into other things that are no-nos, and I'm enjoying watching her play. Even while I was watching her, I thought to myself that I usually would start stressing. Man do I need to chill out! I get so tired, grumpy, and stressed out that I can't relax and just enjoy life. If I had stressed out, I would've missed the moment of watching my baby having such a good time. Those moments are special and crucial to enjoying being a mom. Which brings me to my next subject: pride.
Babies learn through play, so I feel pride in my baby as I watch her play and study every little thing. When she learns something new, like saying mama and dada or knowing the word "no", I can feel my heart swell as I glow with pride. Yesterday, I found out that she knows not only how to turn the page of a book, but also what "turn the page" means. I was reading one of her favorite little books to her (the kind with the baby friendly cardboard pages) when I said "turn the page" and she reached forward with her left hand, grabbed the page, and turned it all the way over. We did this over and over. I would read the page, say "turn the page", and she would reach forward and flip it over. I had been saying things like "Do you want to turn the page, honey?" or simply "Go on, turn the page" to her for a long time and helping her turn the page, but this was the first time that I realized she knows how to do it all on her own! My favorite part about it was that she would wait patiently while I read to her and unstuck the page from the rest (cardboard pages tend to stick together) and only reach for it when I said "turn the page". I was so excited when I told my husband and he was like "Yeah, I know. She's been doing that for awhile hun." Well well then. It was my first time seeing her do it all on her own and doing it only when I told her to go ahead, so for me it was special! She had tried flipping the page over with her right hand, but had discovered that it was much easier if she grabbed it with her left hand. Sometimes, she'd grab it with her left and turn it most of the way over and finish pushing it down with her right hand. So adorable! I love my baby girl so much and love watching her learn and grow everyday :) Life is hard work, but isn't it SO worth it?
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
A Time to Reflect
Being a wife and mother can be overwhelming at times. I think a lot of the reason why I find myself feeling overwhelmed is because I am so tired all the time and hardly get a spare moment to myself. My daughter catnaps, averaging 45 minutes per nap and rarely are they ever over an hour long. I usually try to nap with her for her first one or two naps, but even then it just makes me want more sleep. Her short naps don't leave me with much time to recharge my batteries and after she goes to bed I still need to make dinner or lunches for the next day or finish household chores. A woman's day is never done. My point here isn't to complain, though, it's to remember how truly blessed I am. It can be hard to see the forest through the trees--really, really hard at times. It's not easy to see the big picture while feeling overwhelmed by life. And the big picture is that I am so blessed to be the mother of such an amazing baby girl. She really is God's precious gift to me :)
While rocking her in my arms earlier, I was looking down at her sleeping and remembering again how lucky I am. Not every woman gets to be a mother, and even then, not every mother has such a beautiful, smart, happy, healthy baby. She represents all that is good in my life and all that I have to live for. Yes, I know I am more than just a mother, but that is the most important aspect of my life. At this time in my life, it is more than just an aspect--it IS my life. Our children are not to be taken for granted. Our family--brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers-- are not to be taken for granted. Even when life is hard, we need to remember that our children are to be cherised for each one is a gift. And if you are as fortunate as I am, our family needs to be cherised as well. For I know that wherever life takes me, my family will always be beside me.
To my loving husband, my wonderful mother and father, and my two sisters--beautiful inside and out. I love you all, thank you for always being there for me...and us :)
And to my husband's family, thank you for helping make him the man he is today. I look forward to many years of making memories that strengthen our bonds :)
While rocking her in my arms earlier, I was looking down at her sleeping and remembering again how lucky I am. Not every woman gets to be a mother, and even then, not every mother has such a beautiful, smart, happy, healthy baby. She represents all that is good in my life and all that I have to live for. Yes, I know I am more than just a mother, but that is the most important aspect of my life. At this time in my life, it is more than just an aspect--it IS my life. Our children are not to be taken for granted. Our family--brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers-- are not to be taken for granted. Even when life is hard, we need to remember that our children are to be cherised for each one is a gift. And if you are as fortunate as I am, our family needs to be cherised as well. For I know that wherever life takes me, my family will always be beside me.
To my loving husband, my wonderful mother and father, and my two sisters--beautiful inside and out. I love you all, thank you for always being there for me...and us :)
And to my husband's family, thank you for helping make him the man he is today. I look forward to many years of making memories that strengthen our bonds :)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Best Bottom Creams
There are about a million different diaper rash creams on the market, and I've tried more than our fair share of them. Below are my favorites:
1. California Baby Calming- I love the entire line of California Baby Calming which have essential French lavender oil that smell great naturally without use of perfumes. The best part is that the combination of lavender and other essential oils in the diaper cream make it naturally anti-fungal and anti-bacterial, which is great for maintaining healthy bottoms. The consistency is similar to thinner paste or lotion which makes it spread easily, but will start to melt slightly if it is on your finger too long.
+contains 12% zinc oxide, free of common allergens, not tested on animals, eco-friendly (contains organic and sustainably grown ingredients), uses pure essential oils
2. Burt's Bees Baby Bee Diaper Ointment- it actually is a cream, not an ointment, and I purchased mine at my local Walmart. I was super low on my usual diaper creams, which I order online or pick up when I'm in Olympia, so I made a quick Walmart trip hoping they would have something natural. They did! It is 100% natural and has quickly become a favorite of mine. However, it is my husband's second least favorite next to the super messy Mustela. Again, consistency is why he doesn't like it, but I think it's just fine. It is SUPER thick, making it kind of hard to squeeze out, but once it's out it spreads just fine (according to me). It takes a second to become more spreadable, but the heat from our skin does the trick. It contains zinc oxide, second ingredient after sweet almond oil. It has a definite herbal smell, which can be a little strong, but I like it. It stays well on the skin rather than coming off with the pee, but don't worry, it comes off easily with a wipe.
+ no sulfates parabens phthalates or petrochemicals, does not test on animals, natural oils such as sweet almond, jojoba, lavender, calendula, sunflower, rosemary, soybean and more
3. Babyganics Hiney Helper- this is a great standard diaper cream. It is my husband's favorite because it is the least messy. It's consistency really is that of a thick cream (like a shea butter kind) and it waits until you start spreading it. It's mineral-based formula does contain zinc-oxide, but it does not specify how much (it's the second ingredient after water though). If you are looking for a good basic everyday cream, Babyganics is a safe bet. I only prefer the other two more so because they contain herbal oils.
+hypoallergenic (free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates, toxins, mineral oil, petrolatum, artificial colors, synthetic fragrances, gluten, or nuts) and eco-friendly, pediatrician and dermatologist tested
4. Mustela Stelactiv- The reason I have this on my favorites list is because it contains ingredients that fight the enzymes in urine that cause diaper rash. However, it is my husband's VERY least favorite because of the consistency. It can be pretty messy to put on. Most creams I apply with one finger, but this one I have to apply with two because it starts to melt almost instantly from the heat of your finger(s). My husband usually ends up with one hand such a disaster that he needs to wash up before being able to put the diaper on (thus, he hates it). It's not all natural like the others, but it has a special agent.
+contains 10% zinc oxide, free of fragrance colorant and paraben, dermatologist tested hypoallergenic
These are currently the only three creams I use on my daughter, varying them as need be.
1. California Baby Calming- I love the entire line of California Baby Calming which have essential French lavender oil that smell great naturally without use of perfumes. The best part is that the combination of lavender and other essential oils in the diaper cream make it naturally anti-fungal and anti-bacterial, which is great for maintaining healthy bottoms. The consistency is similar to thinner paste or lotion which makes it spread easily, but will start to melt slightly if it is on your finger too long.
+contains 12% zinc oxide, free of common allergens, not tested on animals, eco-friendly (contains organic and sustainably grown ingredients), uses pure essential oils
2. Burt's Bees Baby Bee Diaper Ointment- it actually is a cream, not an ointment, and I purchased mine at my local Walmart. I was super low on my usual diaper creams, which I order online or pick up when I'm in Olympia, so I made a quick Walmart trip hoping they would have something natural. They did! It is 100% natural and has quickly become a favorite of mine. However, it is my husband's second least favorite next to the super messy Mustela. Again, consistency is why he doesn't like it, but I think it's just fine. It is SUPER thick, making it kind of hard to squeeze out, but once it's out it spreads just fine (according to me). It takes a second to become more spreadable, but the heat from our skin does the trick. It contains zinc oxide, second ingredient after sweet almond oil. It has a definite herbal smell, which can be a little strong, but I like it. It stays well on the skin rather than coming off with the pee, but don't worry, it comes off easily with a wipe.
+ no sulfates parabens phthalates or petrochemicals, does not test on animals, natural oils such as sweet almond, jojoba, lavender, calendula, sunflower, rosemary, soybean and more
3. Babyganics Hiney Helper- this is a great standard diaper cream. It is my husband's favorite because it is the least messy. It's consistency really is that of a thick cream (like a shea butter kind) and it waits until you start spreading it. It's mineral-based formula does contain zinc-oxide, but it does not specify how much (it's the second ingredient after water though). If you are looking for a good basic everyday cream, Babyganics is a safe bet. I only prefer the other two more so because they contain herbal oils.
+hypoallergenic (free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates, toxins, mineral oil, petrolatum, artificial colors, synthetic fragrances, gluten, or nuts) and eco-friendly, pediatrician and dermatologist tested
4. Mustela Stelactiv- The reason I have this on my favorites list is because it contains ingredients that fight the enzymes in urine that cause diaper rash. However, it is my husband's VERY least favorite because of the consistency. It can be pretty messy to put on. Most creams I apply with one finger, but this one I have to apply with two because it starts to melt almost instantly from the heat of your finger(s). My husband usually ends up with one hand such a disaster that he needs to wash up before being able to put the diaper on (thus, he hates it). It's not all natural like the others, but it has a special agent.
+contains 10% zinc oxide, free of fragrance colorant and paraben, dermatologist tested hypoallergenic
These are currently the only three creams I use on my daughter, varying them as need be.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
UPDATE: Sleep for Baby
I will continue to update/edit this post (UPDATE: Sleep for Baby) each night, so keep checking back if you'd like to see how the sleep process is progressing.
6th night-seemed to fall asleep in under 8 minutes with a little crying, but then 5 minutes later when I checked the moniter she was awake. Quiet, but awake. She repositioned herself and was back out in a few minutes. The whole process was between 15-20 minutes so still really good :) I continue to be surprised at how well this is working.
7th night-it's officially been one week. Tonight her sleep schedule got messed up because she fell asleep in the car at 6pm and didn't wake up til 6:40ish. Usually, we start putting her to bed at 7pm. After nursing her a little, she was ready to go...play, not sleep. 8:15pm rolls around and she's still happy as a clam, talking loud and playing. I thought okay let's try to get her relaxed and sleepy, but didn't really think it'd work. She was content as I read to her in the rocker and when I brought her back to nurse her again. I walked, rocked, and bounced her until she was very drowsy. As I laid her down, she immediately flipped over onto her tummy. I thought oh no, here we go. Usually, she flips over on her tummy and starts crying as I set her down and leave the room. Not tonight. She flipped over and stayed there! I patted her back and left the room. I could see on the moniter that she sat up, repositioned herself once, and fell asleep. No crying, no fussing, just right to bed. She did wake up earlier than usual, at midnight, but momma was still very impressed...and pleased!
8th night- today she only took two naps, rather than her usual three or four. She refused to take her afternoon nap, though I tried. Put her to bed at her usual time following our usual sleepy time routine. As I set her down, she flipped over and started her initial crying while I tell her I love her as I leave the room. Within two minutes, she'd stopped crying, found a comfy position, and was asleep...or at least looked to be asleep on the moniter. I was extra tired tonight so I went to bed early which turned out to be a mistake. A little before 10pm, she woke up and noticed momma in bed and, thus, wanted to come to bed with me. If I hadn't been in there, I know she would've fallen back to sleep on her own with minimal crying. C'est la vie! I enjoy cuddling with her warm little body as I go to sleep, but I never sleep as sound as I would if I could sprawl out. So she put herself to sleep in record time tonight, but still ended up spending the whole night in bed with me and my husband.
9th night- fell asleep in about 5 minutes with some initial crying after our usual nighttime routine
10th night- cried for the first two minutes after I laid her down, but had put herself down to sleep in about 5 minutes. She squirmed for a few more minutes trying to get comfortable and then was sound asleep.
11th night- I was so enjoying cuddling with her and looking at her precious face while walking/rocking her into a sleepy lull that I didn't want to set her down...but I knew I had to. She only did her initial cry right as I was leaving, which is heartbreaking. I can practically hear her saying, "No, momma, please don't leave me!" However, by the time I had walked to the next room to grab the moniter, she was already done crying and was on her belly in sleep mode position. Within a few short minutes of trying to get comfortable, she was asleep :)
12th night- barely let out a little fussy sound as I laid her down. She rolled over on her side and ran face to face into her fave teddy bear--and that's where she stayed :) She seemed to fall asleep immediately
13th night- tonight was a bit different. She fell asleep in under 30 minutes, but she spent that time amusing herself with her teddy bears, mini dollie, and binky before falling asleep. She spent a lot of time with daddy today so I think she was more happy and energized than usual (OH how she loves her papa!)
14th night-it's been two weeks! She was so great tonight :) cried only when I set her down, was done by the time I shut the door and got the moniter. Rolled over on her tummy and stayed put. Night night time for baby!
15th night- she had a lot of excitement tonight. Her two aunties from Cali are up and there were lots of people over visiting. It took her about 30 minutes of on again off again crying to fall asleep. She was partly sitting up cuddled up on one of her teddy bears. I think she could hear some of the excitement, even with the bedroom door shut, the hallway door shut, and her sound machine playing.
16th night- she had another full day today playing with her aunties, but when it was time for bed she was ready to sleep. After getting her drowsy, she barely made a sound when I laid her down. She went right to sleep :)
17th night (I think!)- she had another easy night. For the first time, she actually stayed put when I layed her down on her back--closed her eyes and sprawled out. She had rolled to her side when I checked the moniter, but still an awesome first. She went right to sleep without a peep. I rocked and walked her for a lil longer than usual which I think helped her be more relaxed.
18th-22nd nights- so I think this is where I shall stop updating. I realized this week has been going so great that I've been forgetting to write it down :) I'm taking that as a sign to stop the updates. She no longer does the initial wail when I leave the room. This last week she just goes right to sleep without a sound. What a good girl! I'm SO proud of my baby! Anyway, I was hoping to chronicle our progress for a month, BUT I wanted it to be completely accurate and I've messed it up this last week. It would bother me too much to continue with that week as kinda a hole in the information and accuracy. P.S. I think night 17 is actually night 18 or 19...like I said this last week was so great I forgot to record it!
6th night-seemed to fall asleep in under 8 minutes with a little crying, but then 5 minutes later when I checked the moniter she was awake. Quiet, but awake. She repositioned herself and was back out in a few minutes. The whole process was between 15-20 minutes so still really good :) I continue to be surprised at how well this is working.
7th night-it's officially been one week. Tonight her sleep schedule got messed up because she fell asleep in the car at 6pm and didn't wake up til 6:40ish. Usually, we start putting her to bed at 7pm. After nursing her a little, she was ready to go...play, not sleep. 8:15pm rolls around and she's still happy as a clam, talking loud and playing. I thought okay let's try to get her relaxed and sleepy, but didn't really think it'd work. She was content as I read to her in the rocker and when I brought her back to nurse her again. I walked, rocked, and bounced her until she was very drowsy. As I laid her down, she immediately flipped over onto her tummy. I thought oh no, here we go. Usually, she flips over on her tummy and starts crying as I set her down and leave the room. Not tonight. She flipped over and stayed there! I patted her back and left the room. I could see on the moniter that she sat up, repositioned herself once, and fell asleep. No crying, no fussing, just right to bed. She did wake up earlier than usual, at midnight, but momma was still very impressed...and pleased!
8th night- today she only took two naps, rather than her usual three or four. She refused to take her afternoon nap, though I tried. Put her to bed at her usual time following our usual sleepy time routine. As I set her down, she flipped over and started her initial crying while I tell her I love her as I leave the room. Within two minutes, she'd stopped crying, found a comfy position, and was asleep...or at least looked to be asleep on the moniter. I was extra tired tonight so I went to bed early which turned out to be a mistake. A little before 10pm, she woke up and noticed momma in bed and, thus, wanted to come to bed with me. If I hadn't been in there, I know she would've fallen back to sleep on her own with minimal crying. C'est la vie! I enjoy cuddling with her warm little body as I go to sleep, but I never sleep as sound as I would if I could sprawl out. So she put herself to sleep in record time tonight, but still ended up spending the whole night in bed with me and my husband.
9th night- fell asleep in about 5 minutes with some initial crying after our usual nighttime routine
10th night- cried for the first two minutes after I laid her down, but had put herself down to sleep in about 5 minutes. She squirmed for a few more minutes trying to get comfortable and then was sound asleep.
11th night- I was so enjoying cuddling with her and looking at her precious face while walking/rocking her into a sleepy lull that I didn't want to set her down...but I knew I had to. She only did her initial cry right as I was leaving, which is heartbreaking. I can practically hear her saying, "No, momma, please don't leave me!" However, by the time I had walked to the next room to grab the moniter, she was already done crying and was on her belly in sleep mode position. Within a few short minutes of trying to get comfortable, she was asleep :)
12th night- barely let out a little fussy sound as I laid her down. She rolled over on her side and ran face to face into her fave teddy bear--and that's where she stayed :) She seemed to fall asleep immediately
13th night- tonight was a bit different. She fell asleep in under 30 minutes, but she spent that time amusing herself with her teddy bears, mini dollie, and binky before falling asleep. She spent a lot of time with daddy today so I think she was more happy and energized than usual (OH how she loves her papa!)
14th night-it's been two weeks! She was so great tonight :) cried only when I set her down, was done by the time I shut the door and got the moniter. Rolled over on her tummy and stayed put. Night night time for baby!
15th night- she had a lot of excitement tonight. Her two aunties from Cali are up and there were lots of people over visiting. It took her about 30 minutes of on again off again crying to fall asleep. She was partly sitting up cuddled up on one of her teddy bears. I think she could hear some of the excitement, even with the bedroom door shut, the hallway door shut, and her sound machine playing.
16th night- she had another full day today playing with her aunties, but when it was time for bed she was ready to sleep. After getting her drowsy, she barely made a sound when I laid her down. She went right to sleep :)
17th night (I think!)- she had another easy night. For the first time, she actually stayed put when I layed her down on her back--closed her eyes and sprawled out. She had rolled to her side when I checked the moniter, but still an awesome first. She went right to sleep without a peep. I rocked and walked her for a lil longer than usual which I think helped her be more relaxed.
18th-22nd nights- so I think this is where I shall stop updating. I realized this week has been going so great that I've been forgetting to write it down :) I'm taking that as a sign to stop the updates. She no longer does the initial wail when I leave the room. This last week she just goes right to sleep without a sound. What a good girl! I'm SO proud of my baby! Anyway, I was hoping to chronicle our progress for a month, BUT I wanted it to be completely accurate and I've messed it up this last week. It would bother me too much to continue with that week as kinda a hole in the information and accuracy. P.S. I think night 17 is actually night 18 or 19...like I said this last week was so great I forgot to record it!
Sleep for Baby
My little lady playing around in her co-sleeper after a nap.
At the beginning of September, I started reading a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. It has good information, but I think it would be most helpful to parents with a newborn or at least a baby under 3 months old. Once there already is a sleeping problem/pattern established, it isn't quite as helpful. My daughter was 7 months old and still sleeping in bed with us and napping usually on me. She had become very accustomed to body warmth to sleep. The book did help me realize that we'd been letting her go to bed too late and that is my main reason to be thankful my husband bought the book for me. I stopped reading it after having enough of the guilt trips it would cause if I didn't have my daughter napping at the 'perfect' sleep time. I had started letting her cry for short intervals at naptime, letting herself get used to being on her own for sleeping, but refused to do the "extinction" method of letting her cry until she fell asleep for three nights in a row. I feel for my baby too much to be able to listen to her wail.
After going to our local doctor for a checkup, I asked about her napping problems (she likes to take several catnaps throughout the day rather than two or three long naps). The doctor suggested fixing her nighttime pattern to help correct the daytime....she suggested letting her cry it out for three nights. That, apparently, is the amount of time it takes to program/deprogram a baby's sleep habit. For whatever reason, I felt mentally strong enough that night to give it a try. I thought it's now or never, but I'll play it by ear. If she was really upset or cried for an hour (the book's cutoff time) then I'll go in and pick her up. My daughter had only ever once put herself to sleep. It took 40-45 minutes of fussing and she fell asleep sitting up slumped over her dollie. It had been 2 or 3 weeks since that one time, but it still gave me hope. So I nursed my baby and then rocked her until she was very drowsy with eyes closed, but not asleep, before giving her a kiss and laying her in her playpen (currently serving as a bigger co-sleeper next to our bed). She flung her eyes open and started wailing as I was setting her down, but I thought let's just see and shut the door softly behind me. Our handheld moniter has a video screen on it so I could watch her while listening. She fussed on and off and put herself to sleep between 10-30 minutes (I kept busy cooking dinner and forgot to check the screen at 20 minutes). I thought amazing! I was so proud of our little baby. The next 4 nights went as follows:
2nd night- cried for 45 minutes, was not a happy camper, but I had forgotten to turn on her night light. She had womb sounds playing, but I still felt like a jerk when I realized.
3rd night- fussed and cried a little on and off but was asleep in under 30 minutes. That night and from then on I made sure to have both night lights and soothing music playing.
4th night- okay, tonight would be the test. Did the three nights work? Sure enough, she put herself to sleep in under 20 minutes with NO crying. She only did the initial wail when I very first put her down in her crib. She might be drowsy and tired, but she knows what being set down means: no more momma. This night I was EXCEPTIONALLY proud of her. Under 20 minutes AND no crying!
5th night- fussed and cried just a little, but put herself to sleep in under 15 minutes! She likes to fall asleep on her tummy with her little legs tucked up under her and her head to the side where she's bunched up her blanket. Adorable! She also has been staying asleep until about 3am instead of the 11pm before we started this method.
Tonight will be the 6th night and I hope it continues to go well. I still put her to sleep myself for naps though because that's our daytime sleep routine. Being a parent is tough, but the rewards of seeing your child grow and learn are SO worth it. In fact, I found out yesterday that she knows the word 'no'. She was picking up a big stick with slivers so I told her no and she dropped it and looked at me with this expression like 'OMG what? why?'. That was also a very proud moment :)
There's nothing greater in this world than having your baby's face light up when they see you. There's nothing more precious in this world than the sight and sound of your baby smiling and laughing--happy. I would give my life if it would ensure my baby would stay happy, healthy, safe, and warm. That's what being a good momma is all about :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Fatigue
No doubt about it, being a mom really wears you out. It is EXHAUSTING. I've fondly referred to my daughter as an emotional terrorist on days when she's been extra fussy. I put all my love and energy into taking care of her and there are some days where it seems to get me no where because she's overtired too or just plain wants momma. She knows me as well as I know her and, thus, knows how to get momma to do exactly what she wants. There have been times when I've had to go to the bathroom with her on my lap or take a shower with her in my arms because otherwise she would cry the entire time. I know it would be okay to let her cry, but hearing her sad sounds and seeing the look on her precious little face is just too heartbreaking. I would rather take on the extra work and keep my baby happy. I especially find myself worn out because I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (Epstein Barr), which basically just means that my immune system isn't what it used to be and I need more sleep than the average person to be up to par. Since our daughter sleeps with us though, I take care of her even while I sleep--waking up to switch her over to my other side (she sleeps with her head on my arm like a pillow cuddled up next to me) or if she thrashes in her sleep. Even as worn down and tired as I am, I still find myself refusing help at times because "I'm the momma."
One of the hardest things to do as a mother is relinquish control. We are the mom and we want to have our baby taken care of OUR way. That being said, I have learned that if you are fortunate enough to have a significant other that is willing to help you care for your baby, let them. I am one of the lucky ones. I'm breastfeeding so there are some things that only I can do, but my husband helps out as much as he can. My favorite way he helps is on the weekends when he's home from work. He takes care of her in the morning so I can get some much needed rest, only bringing her in to me when she's hungry. It may not be a lot of extra sleep, but it's enough to refresh my spirits.
My point is that sometimes as mothers we make more work for ourselves than necessary by wanting to keep control. The first several months after my daughter was born I ran on nothing but momentum and brain cells. It may not be like it used to where "it takes a village to raise a child", but the mother can still have help. She just needs to learn to ask for it.
One of the hardest things to do as a mother is relinquish control. We are the mom and we want to have our baby taken care of OUR way. That being said, I have learned that if you are fortunate enough to have a significant other that is willing to help you care for your baby, let them. I am one of the lucky ones. I'm breastfeeding so there are some things that only I can do, but my husband helps out as much as he can. My favorite way he helps is on the weekends when he's home from work. He takes care of her in the morning so I can get some much needed rest, only bringing her in to me when she's hungry. It may not be a lot of extra sleep, but it's enough to refresh my spirits.
My point is that sometimes as mothers we make more work for ourselves than necessary by wanting to keep control. The first several months after my daughter was born I ran on nothing but momentum and brain cells. It may not be like it used to where "it takes a village to raise a child", but the mother can still have help. She just needs to learn to ask for it.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Great Expectations
My first great expectation about being a mom was shattered before my daughter had even been born. From there it has been a journey discovering what kind of mom I am and how different that may be than what I'd imagined during pregnancy.
Labor. Throughout my pregnancy I had preached about how I wanted to do an all natural birth and how my high pain tolerance would carry me through. Oh how I was wrong! By the time my husband and I arrived at the hospital at 2 o'clock in the morning, I had been having contractions for 7 hours and they were now only mere minutes apart. Making the long walk through the maze that is the empty hospital at that time of night, I started confessing (and cursing!) to my husband that I think I want an epidural. He told me whatever I want to do. Smart choice on his behalf for I was in no mood to hear about what I'd been preaching. I hated admitting out loud what I'd been thinking to myself the entire long car ride up to the hospital, but I knew I had to face the music at some point because there was no way I was passing up the chance to get rid of the pain!
Sleep. Obviously, I already knew I wasn't going to be getting much sleep after the baby was born. What I didn't know was that I was going to have her sleep in bed with my husband and I, right smack dab in the middle. We had bought a co-sleeper bassinet that attaches to our bed while I was pregnant. I swore that she would be sleeping in her co-sleeper because I would be too afraid of rolling over on her in my sleep and suffocating her. I hadn't realized how incredibly strong my mother's instinct would be. I am so in tune with her that my body is aware of her even while I sleep. This, of course, is what my mother had tried to explain to me while I was pregnant. My daughter is now a few days shy of 8 months old and still spends most of the night in bed with us :) (we've just started working on this the last few days, but that's for another post.)
People. I had laughed at the idea that I might be anything other than joyous to see other people holding my baby. Turns out, I had a bad case of mama claws. My claws would come out when people other than immediate family wanted to hold her. Even then, they needed to tread softly for I was the flooded-with-hormones momma and didn't want anyone stepping on my territory. It took a few months for this to subside. I got better with time, but still showed my claws when people would do things typically deemed things done by the mom (ie: holding baby on hip while multitasking, soothing baby, rushing to baby when she wakes). I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't change how I felt. Sometimes, though, there are just things that I as the mom want to do myself.
In the end, I have to be ready to accept changes as they come. There are some things that cannot be helped and just are what they are. At those times I need to create a new path with what the circumstances have given me to work with. I am an overprotective mom that likes things done in a specific way (ie: MY way), but have also learned that I cannot control everything....though I still might try.
Labor. Throughout my pregnancy I had preached about how I wanted to do an all natural birth and how my high pain tolerance would carry me through. Oh how I was wrong! By the time my husband and I arrived at the hospital at 2 o'clock in the morning, I had been having contractions for 7 hours and they were now only mere minutes apart. Making the long walk through the maze that is the empty hospital at that time of night, I started confessing (and cursing!) to my husband that I think I want an epidural. He told me whatever I want to do. Smart choice on his behalf for I was in no mood to hear about what I'd been preaching. I hated admitting out loud what I'd been thinking to myself the entire long car ride up to the hospital, but I knew I had to face the music at some point because there was no way I was passing up the chance to get rid of the pain!
Sleep. Obviously, I already knew I wasn't going to be getting much sleep after the baby was born. What I didn't know was that I was going to have her sleep in bed with my husband and I, right smack dab in the middle. We had bought a co-sleeper bassinet that attaches to our bed while I was pregnant. I swore that she would be sleeping in her co-sleeper because I would be too afraid of rolling over on her in my sleep and suffocating her. I hadn't realized how incredibly strong my mother's instinct would be. I am so in tune with her that my body is aware of her even while I sleep. This, of course, is what my mother had tried to explain to me while I was pregnant. My daughter is now a few days shy of 8 months old and still spends most of the night in bed with us :) (we've just started working on this the last few days, but that's for another post.)
People. I had laughed at the idea that I might be anything other than joyous to see other people holding my baby. Turns out, I had a bad case of mama claws. My claws would come out when people other than immediate family wanted to hold her. Even then, they needed to tread softly for I was the flooded-with-hormones momma and didn't want anyone stepping on my territory. It took a few months for this to subside. I got better with time, but still showed my claws when people would do things typically deemed things done by the mom (ie: holding baby on hip while multitasking, soothing baby, rushing to baby when she wakes). I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't change how I felt. Sometimes, though, there are just things that I as the mom want to do myself.
In the end, I have to be ready to accept changes as they come. There are some things that cannot be helped and just are what they are. At those times I need to create a new path with what the circumstances have given me to work with. I am an overprotective mom that likes things done in a specific way (ie: MY way), but have also learned that I cannot control everything....though I still might try.
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