Competition and Pride

The other night, my husband and I were playing Wii Golf. It was my first time, but I naturally didn't want to suck at it. I can be VERY competitive. We played the beginner 3 rounds so I could get a feel for it and it was fun! I only lost by one point, so I figured let's go again! We played the 9 hole round and I discovered that after the first 3 holes there begins to be a big difference in skill level between my husband and I. He was joking with me and trying to have fun, but I was getting really irritated that I was doing so poorly. I ended up losing by 4 points, but only because my hubby bombed it on one round. It should have been a fun game, but I was tense by the end of it. And why? Because of my competitive nature. Which is exactly why being a mom stresses me out so much at times. I cannot do anything wrong--I need to be the best at all times. Yes, I should try my very best, but being a mom is difficult and it's okay to not always have it together. I need to be able to laugh off things and just enjoy life for what it is, problems and all. This is the lesson I struggle learning pretty much everyday. I cannot always deal with life and the hardships (big or small) it may throw our way.

Let me paint a picture for you of what I mean when I say I'm trying not to stress the little things. I was trying to hang up laundry out of the dryer and my baby girl was crawling around getting into things. I had the bottom drawer in the kitchen open because I was folding some kitchen towels and that's where they go. She crawls over and starts pulling handtowels that I'd just folded out and flinging them around (she LOVES to fling blankets, towels, etc back and forth. It's SUPER cute!). Normally, I'd be like oh no! It would stress me out that now I have to refold them, which is creating even more work for me and there are other things I still need to do. Not this time :) I just smiled and let her play. So what? It's just a few towels and it won't take but a minute to put them away again. Besides, she's having so much fun playing with them, it's distracting her from getting into other things that are no-nos, and I'm enjoying watching her play. Even while I was watching her, I thought to myself that I usually would start stressing. Man do I need to chill out! I get so tired, grumpy, and stressed out that I can't relax and just enjoy life. If I had stressed out, I would've missed the moment of watching my baby having such a good time. Those moments are special and crucial to enjoying being a mom. Which brings me to my next subject: pride.

Babies learn through play, so I feel pride in my baby as I watch her play and study every little thing. When she learns something new, like saying mama and dada or knowing the word "no", I can feel my heart swell as I glow with pride. Yesterday, I found out that she knows not only how to turn the page of a book, but also what "turn the page" means. I was reading one of her favorite little books to her (the kind with the baby friendly cardboard pages) when I said "turn the page" and she reached forward with her left hand, grabbed the page, and turned it all the way over. We did this over and over. I would read the page, say "turn the page", and she would reach forward and flip it over. I had been saying things like "Do you want to turn the page, honey?" or simply "Go on, turn the page" to her for a long time and helping her turn the page, but this was the first time that I realized she knows how to do it all on her own! My favorite part about it was that she would wait patiently while I read to her and unstuck the page from the rest (cardboard pages tend to stick together) and only reach for it when I said "turn the page". I was so excited when I told my husband and he was like "Yeah, I know. She's been doing that for awhile hun." Well well then. It was my first time seeing her do it all on her own and doing it only when I told her to go ahead, so for me it was special! She had tried flipping the page over with her right hand, but had discovered that it was much easier if she grabbed it with her left hand. Sometimes, she'd grab it with her left and turn it most of the way over and finish pushing it down with her right hand. So adorable! I love my baby girl so much and love watching her learn and grow everyday :) Life is hard work, but isn't it SO worth it?